The SEASONS program is designed to provide support to families who are grieving the loss of their loved one. We understand that your needs are very special. We offer these pages as a resource to you in hopes that we can be helpful as you walk this difficult
journey. If you have questions, please call the SEASONS office or the Medical Center and ask to speak to a Social Worker or Chaplain.
- SEASONS Office
- Medical Center (ask for a Social Worker or Chaplain)
- Medical Center (ask to speak to a Social Worker or Chaplain)
You didn’t have time to say good-bye. Plus, depending on the nature of the death, there are often feelings of anger and guilt. Whatever the circumstances may be, this is a very difficult time for you. This contenton this page will describe some of the common experiences you might face in the coming months. The grieving process following a sudden death is complicated and intense. It will seem at times like it requires more than you have to give. You feel as if a part of your own self is being ripped away and that you are no longer complete.
Physical Experiences and Emotions
Varied emotions are part of the normal grieving process. At times you may think you have no feelings at all. Other times, you may feel like exploding with anger. These feelings will be quite different from your usual emotional state and can be quite frightening, but they are normal. Allow yourself the freedom to express your feelings. Following are some
of the emotions you may experience:
- Shock and denial
When you first hear the news, you will likely be so numb that you cannot comprehend all the details of the event.
Others may even commend you for taking it so well. Or it may be that you are in such shock that you cannot
complete even a simple task. It is difficult to believe that this has really happened. Each person’s grief is unique. No
one knows exactly what you are going through.
When a loved one dies, it brings us a heightened sense of our own mortality. Before the tragedy, you probably felt like
it would never happen to you. Now, you find yourself harboring new fears about your own safety and the safety of the
rest of your family.
The anger that is associated with a sudden death is often surprising. It is normal to feel angry, but it is very
important that you not act on your angry thoughts. If your loved one was murdered or hit by a drunk driver, your
anger will be focused on another. If the death was caused by suicide or risky behavior, you will feel angry at the
one who died. It seems so unfair that their life was ended prematurely. Whatever the source of your anger, find
someone with whom you can talk. Some people find it helpful to engage in physical activity or write in a journal.
Find some outlet for your anger.
Many times, sudden death brings a load of guilt to those who survived. You may find yourself thinking, “If only I
had….” Some people tend to blame themselves in order to make sense out of a tragedy and to prove that they have
some control over their lives. Remember that you are human and there are many things you cannot control or undo.
After the death of a loved one, many people feel like they will never be able to participate in a “normal” life again.
Some people have difficulty just getting through the day. Your energy level may be so low that you have no desire
to do anything. It is all right to feel this way. Eventually, you will become involved in life again, but you don’t need
to rush the process.
We Remember Them
In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we remember them.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we remember them.
In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring, we remember them.
In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer, we remember them.
In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we remember them.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart, we remember them.
When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember them.
So long as we live, they too shall live,
For they are now a part of us, as we remember them.